Eric's Mask
by JLC123
Summary: A depressing one-shot about Eric if he didn't have the perfect life that it is implied that he has. Warning: mentions of self-harm, child abuse and other abuse.


Ops was silent this late at night, and Eric was always the last one to leave and shut down all the computers. He was also the first one there in the morning to start up all the computers. Eric worked later than anyone knew, well, Hetty knew—she knows everything-, and Eric relaxed in the silence and listened to the soft hum of the equipment and the clack of his keys as he typed and opened up whatever he was working on.

Nobody would believe how much he worked and how much he put into his work, not even Nell who sat beside him day by day. Honestly, he felt underappreciated; everyone would ask for anything and everything, legal, illegal, and next to impossible, and he would do it in record time. He could count on one hand the number of people who could do what he does. He was irreplaceable and he knew it. One day, years from now, Nell would be able to do his job, but not as good as he could.

The agents he works with are some of the most stubborn and different people you will ever meet. They are all smart, but they see and understand things so differently. Presentations, work and information he relays to everyone on the team differently, and it is a lot of work. He steps up to the plate every time, and for all his hard work he has a better than winning record. But what he really wants, is friends, people that admire him and what he does, he really wants them to appreciate him and the work he does for him.

They think they know him: he's the resident "teckie", he's a big kid who likes to spend his time gaming, surfing and dressing like a teenager. What they don't know is that his life isn't at all what they see on the outside. He games, surfs and dresses like a child because he never got a childhood. He spent his childhood protecting his mother from his alcoholic, abusive father. When he turned fifteen, he was sent to the hospital after his dad stabbed his mother to death and almost beat him to death. He died twice on the table before they could stabilize him. He spent the next two years in special foster homes. Nobody really wanted the kid that couldn't sleep without nightmares that wouldn't speak a word to anybody. He was silent from that day to the day he turned 18 and left the foster homes for good. He didn't say a word for three years.

They don't know that he has a genius IQ of 176, an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute. They just think he's smart. Even with the horrible life he had, he graduated high school when he was 12. After that he would take classes at the closest college and later he took courses online. He has more degrees than everyone else on the team combined.

They don't know that since he turned 18, he's been in three different very abusive relationships with very dangerous _men_. They don't know that NCIS turned his life around and that since working there he has never been on a second date. They don't know that the only people he trusts are them. They think he had a perfectly happy childhood.

But most importantly, they don't know that he takes medication for depression. They also don't know about the nasty scars that he hides under his floral shirts that carry memories from his father and foster parents. They also have never noticed the faint scars across his left wrist. They tan so easily and healed so well that you have to be looking for them to see them. Nobody has ever noticed them.

To Eric, this just proves that he's right, nobody cares about him. He has never and will never be truly loved. The people he trusts with his life, the people who trust him with their lives, they don't know anything about him. They never looked past the surface. The smile he plasters on his face every morning fools them all. They see a happy childhood and a loving family. He sees relief that his past is beyond him. So, when his alarm goes off every morning, he gets dressed and takes his medicine before leaving to get to work. He arrives long before everyone else. He sets up at his desk and starts the work that he knows nobody else can do, and he brushes off the feelings of loss and loneliness just in time to plaster a grin on his face before the first of his team walks to their desk.


End file.
